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Before I get to the Futility Teams, there was some good stuff today in the Washington Post (sorry, need to register for the link to work). Apparently, Dave Sheinin is curious as to why Luis Matos had a called strike in the dirt. Also, how Nixon hit an outside fastball and hit it out. First the Matos situation.

In the fifth inning, umpire Doug Eddings called a borderline pitch a strike. Matos turned around and said something to Eddings. Mike Hargrove jumped out of the dugout and spoke to Eddings, presumably to protect his player and not argue balls and strikes. The next pitch, Matos homered. In the seventh, Todd Jones threw an 0-1 pitch low and outside. I didn’t see where the pitch was, but Sheinin said that Varitek “caught the pitch with his mitt almost in the dirt.” Matos argued with Eddings, and was tossed, which as I’m sure you know, is the rule in baseball. Now, what is funny is this remark from Sheinin.

The Orioles also intimated that the calls were a result of Fenway Park being outfitted with the QuesTec Umpire Information System, which is being used by Major League Baseball in 13 ballparks to evaluate umpires’ accuracy in calling balls and strikes

If that is the case, then the pitch was a strike. QuesTec is set up to determine what is what, and Matos had no argument. I have no idea if Eddings is a good umpire or not, but if he made the call due to QuesTec, then Matos got what he deserved.

As for Nixon, Jason Johnson thought there were shenanigans with the pitch he threw:

Nixon’s homer, in particular, did not sit well with Johnson, who said he threw a perfect pitch — “Right on the black, right where I wanted to throw it.”

The fact Nixon turned on it and crushed it? “There’s no way he turns on that,” Johnson said. “No possible way.”

The implication was that Nixon knew what was coming, although Johnson did not accuse him of anything directly.

Sheinin doesn’t buy it though. He responds:

The Red Sox, however, were made to turn off a television monitor in their bullpen last week when Tampa Bay Devil Rays Manager Lou Piniella protested it

See, media can be fun, even if they aren’t from Boston. Overall, I think Sheinin gave a pretty fair assessment of the game last night.

Now for the futility teams. These are the guys that have contibuted the least to their team’s fortunes. I have some basic criteria, of 350 ab, banning parttimers from the teams.

NL Futility Team
c - Brad Ausmus HOU .230-4-45 .305/.295/.600
In one of the best hitting parks in the majors, Ausmus has sported a robust .295 slug. Although his defense is solid, that is piss poor. Intangibles can’t make crap filet mignon.

1b - Randell Simon PIT/CHC .273-15-70 .308/.430/.739
First base is no place for a singles hitter. Actually, I kind of like Simon. He has dubious power, and no plate discipline to speak of, but he hits everything. Against the Red Sox this year when he was in Pittsburgh, Simon took an pitch well outside and about eye high and crushed it over the left field wall for a home run. This was no Ozzie Smith dinger either, this was a bomb. I’ve never seen anything like that.

2b - Ron Belliard COL .269-5-39 .343/.379/.722
Remember when Ronnie could hit? It was only a few years ago. Alex Cora can’t hit either, but at least he can help his team with the glove. Balliard can still draw a walk, with a ISO. Plate Discipline of .074, among the highest of National League customers. Belliard just isn’t worth giving a full time job to. IPD is figured the same as Iso. Slug. Subtract the BA from the OP%.

3b - Geoff Blum HOU .269-10-52 .303/.389/.692
Compared to Blum, Belliard is Ted Williams. Playing Blum instead of Ensburg might be the Astros’ undoing this year. Jimy never changes, I tells ya.

ss - Royce Clayton MIL .221-11-37 .297/.328/.624
How can someone with a good glove and 11 home runs be on the Futility team? Easy, be Royce Clayton. By the Win Shares method, he has contributed 0 to Milwaukee’s offense. 0.00. 470 at bats, wasted. That means, by the Win Shares method, Jack Wilson, and Cesar Izturis are better offensively and defensively. That is why I’m willing to overlook the 11 home runs.

lf - Pat Burrell PHI .210-21-64 .312/.413/.725
This one was tough because I love Burrell, but he has regressed totally from last year. I thought at the beginning of the season, you could pencil him in for .280-40-110 .400/.575/.975. Good thing the pencils have erasers. If Bowa sticks around next year, you think Burrell might the next one out of town? I’d bet on it.

cf - Endy Chavez MON .250-5-47 .294/.353/.647
At least he has a glove.

rf - Roger Cedeno NYM .268-7-37 .322/.378/.700
One of Steve Phillips’s moves. Cedeno was actually a good leadoff man, and an indifferent defender. Now he seems to be just indifferent to baseball. I get the feeling the last two years on the job, Phillips was trying to get fired.

sp - Shane Reynolds ATL 11-9 5.74 5.12 k/9 0.213 runs saved
Braves fans, if Reynolds starts any playoff games, then it does not bode well for your team. You’ve been warned.

closer - Jose Mesa PHI 24 svs 6.27 7.70 k/9 -3.222 runs saved
I heard bad things about that closer by committee! You need a Proven Closer to put out fires!! Mesa is gasoline for Phillies souls.

AL Futility Team
c - Brent Mayne KCR .242-6-35 .307/.342/.648
I really wanted to put Enar Diaz here but he didn’t have enough ab to qualify. The same thing happend in the NL, when the Giants were too disagreeable to play Neifi Perez more. Moves like that make this less fun.

1b - Paul Konerko CHW .238-18-65 .309/.407/.717
The Pat Burrell award goes too…Paul Konerko! I can’t believe I wasted a first round pick on Paulie. If I was more objective, Ken Harvey would be here, but he didn’t kill my fantasy team.

2b - Luis Rivas MIN .261-8-42 .311/.385/.696
I thought he would be good. I was wrong. Rivas has just never shown the promise he flashed his rookie year. Aaron Gleeman hates him.

3b - Tony Batista BAL .234-25-94 .270/.395/.665
Hits home runs and does little else. Shane Halter is just as bad but doesn’t have enough AB, and it’s no fun to pick on the Tigers. That’s like spitting on someone who already had the hell kicked out of him by a biker gang. Actually, up until this point, no Tiger deserved it.

ss - Ramon Santiago DET .221-2-25 .287/.278/.565
There we go. Santiago might be the worst player in the majors. It’s very rare to see someone with a higher on base percentage then slugging percentage. His glove is better then Derek Jeter’s. Um…he’s a better hitter then Brother in Suck Omar Infante. Um…patoo!

lf - Carl Crawford TAM .279-5-54 .308/.357/.665
Craig Monroe’s 20 home runs are the only thing keeping him out of this slot. Sweet Lou said that Crawford would win a batting title. Possibly next year. Crawford needs to learn how to actually hit first.

cf - Alex Sanchez DET .284-1-19 .314/.351/.665
Think Roger Cedeno without the flashy glove. Soon to be tried in The Hague for Crimes against the Tigers.

rf - Terrence Long OAK .244-14-59 .292/.386/.678
Billy Beane’s Great Big Mistake. Long has regressed every year he’s been in the league. However, he is more solid with the glove then what he gets credit for, as long as he isn’t in center. Long will be one of the focal points of a post I will write in the near future about Moneyball.

sp - Cory Lidle TOR 12-14 5.90 4.97 k/9 -3.019 runs saved
Why has Lidle pitched 184.2 innings? Cory Lidle is the type of thing friends are lost over. Next time Billy Beane says he needs the Blue Jays to complete a trade, JP Riccardi should either hang up the phone, or ask for a guy that might actually help his team win.

closer - Billy Koch CHW 11 svs 5.81 7.18 k/9 -0.352 runs saved
He was the Proven Closer that was supposed to put the White Sox over the top. However, when you throw 99, and straight, and have no idea where it’s going, and have a ten cent head, then you don’t keep your closer job long.

Just three more days of awards in the ol’ holster. Tomorrow will be the Cy Youngs. Thursday will be the National League MVP, Friday AL MVP. Tonight, the Orioles stay in Fenway and throw lefty Eric DuBois against The King of Knuckle Tim Wakefield at 7:05.