One of my favorite blogs out there is the USS Mariner. Because of the intellectual discrepancy between the site’s writers and the folks currently running the Mariners, this season has provided plenty of material for some scathingly hilarious entries on the site.

Last night in the 2nd inning of the Mariners’ nationally televised game against the Rangers seemed to be the prototypical Mariners inning in 2003. Bear in mind that Texas starter Nick Bierbrodt had already walked two guys in the first inning. Here are the details…

Scott Spiezio: Ball, Ball, Strike looking, Foul, Ball, Spiezio walked.
Hiram Bocachica: Strike looking, Ball, Ball, Spiezio to second on wild pitch, Bocachica sacrificed to first, Spiezio to third.
Ichiro Suzuki: Ball, Ball, Ball, Suzuki walked.
Randy Winn: Strike looking, Foul, Ball, Suzuki caught stealing, pitcher to first to second to pitcher, Ball, Ball, Winn walked.
Jolbert Cabrera: Strike swinging, Ball, Cabrera grounded into fielder’s choice to third, Winn out at second.

So Spiezio walks to lead off the inning. Then after a first pitch strike to Bocachica, Bierbrodt misses thrice consecutively, including a pitch directly behind Bocachica’s ass that ESPN2 showed on K-Zone. Funniest part of any baseball telecast I have seen in a while but I digress. Anyway now it’s 3-1 and I am thinking “Bierbrodt’s all over the place, he might not throw another strike this inning”. On the very next pitch, yes a 3-1 pitch, Bocachica bunts a pitch over his head but manages to get it down, sacrificing Spiezio (who had advanced on Bierbrodt’s pitch behind Bocachica’s ass) to third. So with a man on third now and maybe the most unnecessary out in the history of baseball, Ichiro predictably walks on four pitches. Bierbrodt has now thrown 3 strikes and 12 balls in 3 at bats in the inning. So first and third with 2-3-4 coming up and one out. What happens? Ichiro is picked off as he was clearly about to steal. So now two outs, Winn walks (Bierbrodt’s third of the inning) and Jolbert Cabrera (batting third ?!?!?) hits into a fielder’s choice to end the inning.

I have never seen a team so unwilling to accept runs with an opposing pitcher apparently as happy as can be to simply hand them over.