This is the group of shortstops that will be penciled in the Sox lineup on Opening Day ’05 when, you guessed it, pigs fly.

2004 stats are listed in BA/OB/SLG – EQA format…

Pokey Reese – .221/.271/.303 – .204

We have all witnessed just how much of a drain he can be. I have said it before and I will say it again. He looks like an actor playing a Major League Baseball player when he swings the bat. More specifically, he reminds me of Wesley Snipes playing Willie Mays Hayes. Either way, he cannot be Boston’s everyday shortstop.

Ramon Martinez – .246/.313/.346 – .232

Just not an everyday player. Although he is a Dusty Baker favorite – no check that – because he is a Dusty Baker favorite, he is an unacceptable solution to our problem.

Neifi Perez – .255/.296/.336 – .220

While he can be a nifty gloveman, Neifi can lay legitimate claim to “worst hitter in the history of Major League Baseball”, minimum 2,000 at bats division.

Rich Aurilia – .246/.314/.353 – .244

Can’t field, can’t hit, can’t carry Bonds’ bags around anymore. He’s got a goatee so that’s cool and I am sure Dirt Dog would take to him but it’s just not happening with Rich these days.

Alex Gonzalez – .225/.263/.368 – .237

Just an absolute out-machine.

Rey Sanchez – .246/.281/.337 – .220

Was always a nice fielder and I think he was largely responsible for Derek Lowe’s 2002 but he’s an automatic out at this point.

Desi Relaford – .221/.296/.305 – .215

What a country. Desi made $900,000 last year.

Jose Vizcaino – .274/.311/.374 – .234

Not unless Tito is fired and Jimy is hired.

Comments are closed