Much like Sully did earlier, I’ll be throwing in double duty on two teams who probably don’t deserve such short shrift, but I can’t bring myself to get energized to type much more about them.

Baltimore Orioles
2005: 74-88 4th in the AL East

Projected Lineup
2B Brian Roberts
C Ramon Hernandez
3B Melvin Mora
SS Miguel Tejada
DH Javy Lopez
RF Jay Gibbons
LF Jeff Conine
1B Kevin Millar
CF Nick Markakis

Projected Rotation
Rodrigo Lopez
Erik Bedard
Kris Benson
Daniel Cabrera
Bruce Chen

Projected Closer
Chris Ray

Outlook
Honestly, this team isn’t that bad. Sure, they’ve got Kevin Millar, Jeff Conine, and Nick Markakis starting (since I’m assuming even the O’s are smart enough not to start Corey Patterson). If it’s not rookie phenom Markakis, it’ll be Luis Matos who, when healthy, is a pretty mediocre hitter–but he might be just mediocre enough to make up for it with his glove. Kevin Millar is also a pretty mediocre hitter–but he plays 1B where being mediocre is a crime. The sooner the O’s can get Javy Lopez to 1B, and anyone to DH, they’ll be better off. Jeff Conine, at 40, is pretty much the same hitter he’s always been. He’s upped his OBP a bit to compensate for the decrease in his SLG, but he’ll give you average performance for 400 ABs a season. That’s not necessarily what you want out of a corner OF, but he’s just a placeholder for Val Majewski.

The rest of the offense is really pretty good. Mora’s late career bloom has been a pretty great thing to watch, and it was funny when he sold his octuplets to the circus. Miguel Tejada is one of the two best SS in baseball. Brian Roberts, before he got the super contacts, was a pretty crappy little player. Then he became superman. I’m betting on something in between. Gibbons, Lopez, Hernandez … these are all guys who aren’t holes in your lineup. It’s a thin team, but they’ll score enough runs to be competitive.

The question: Can the pitching staff keep them in games?
The answer: I have absolutely no clue.

Rodrigo Lopez saw a drop in his K rate, and a spike in his ERA. He’s probably a little better than he showed last season. Chen, Cabrera, and Bedard are all starters who’ve got pretty good stuff, but iffy control, and that tends to cause some variance in their performance. The O’s acquired newly single Kris Benson to fill out their rotation–and he fits in nicely in the “good stuff, iffy control, mediocre performance” staff they’ve created. They let B.J. Ryan walk to Toronto, but youngster Chris Ray looks like a good facsimile.

The Orioles will go as far as their big off-season acquisition carries them. If Leo Mazzone can turn this staff into Atlanta north, this team might be good enough to win 85 games–even in the AL East. If Leo Mazzone turns out a staff that looks like last year’s staff, well, they might get passed by the Devil Rays.

The upshot is that, win or lose, there is a good chance they’ll all get a chance to ride the Anna Benson Express.

Prediction: 74-88 (yes, the same as last season)

Arizona Diamondbacks
2005: 77-85 2nd in NL West

Projected Lineup
CF Eric Byrnes
SS Craig Counsell
LF Luis Gonzalez
RF Shawn Green
3B Chad Tracy
1B Conor Jackson
C Johnny Estrada
2B Orlando Hudson

Projected Rotation
Brandon Webb
Orlando Hernandez
Miguel Batista
Russ Ortiz
Claudio Vargas

Projected Closer
Jose Valverde

Outlook
Is it ok to say I hate this franchise? Other than defeating the Yankees, there’s nothing to like about this franchise. They continually suck, their previous management went about building a team in about the most annoying and dishonest way possible (well, this side of Wayne Huizenga), and they made me look stupid last year, even though I predicted Russ Ortiz would be the worst FA signing ever.

It looks like the Dbacks are trying to change things, brining in Josh Byrnes and some of the recent Sox braintrust. On the other hand, it also looks like Byrnes is content to punt this season. His outfield is probably the worst defensive outfield in baseball. I guess that’s not so bad given that most of the balls heading towards the fence in this park, against this pitching staff, are going to be going over the fence not landing in front of it. Green and Gonzalez are both aging, oft-injured players who are rapidly descending into averageness and beyond. Eric Byrnes is already beyond average. He’s crap. Chad Tracy and Conor Jackson at the corners could be a very nice thing for the Snakes, assuming Tracy is for real (he’s not) and Jackson develops (he will). Craig Counsell might be the worst all around SS in baseball, complemented by Orlando Hudson, whose range beyond 2B is the only thing that will keep Brandon Webb from killing himself.

Speaking of Webb, the pitching staff is a weird amalgam talented youngish pitchers (Webb, Vargas) and older, not as talented pitchers (Hernandez, Batista). And Russ Ortiz, the single worst FA signing in the history of baseball (worse than Chan Ho Park, because Park’s signing came when teams were still not paying attention to statistics — everyone knew that Ortiz sucked). Ok, maybe that’s a bit harsh towards Ortiz, but in my defense, he did kill my great uncle in a circus accident.

The only reason to pay attention to Arizona is to watch when they give up and start playing Drew, Upton, and the rest of their stellar prospects. I’m betting July.

Prediction: 70-92