I was a little red in the face after Mike Lowell’s performance against the Yankees. I have been calling for his head at every waking moment; by now my sports-challenged girlfriend can make a pretty good case for his retirement. In this young season he’s matched his error total from last year, and Tuesday he botched a crucial double play. A year ago it was clear that Lowell’s defense was better than Youkilis’ at third, now I’m not so sure. His four home runs are impossible to ignore, especially those of the three run variety against the Yankees. Dammit, I guess I’m stuck with him at least until July.

Julian Tavarez’s starts draw close parallels to his bullpen appearances, last night he threw three brilliant innings mixed with two terrible ones. This kind of inconsistency is easier to swallow when he starts, he just has to give the team a solid chance to win until Jon Lester is ready. When he was blowing leads out of the pen it was far more frustrating. In the immortal words of Trey Parker/Matt Stone via an animated Russel Crowe: “If I can’t fight cancer, I’ll fight…a guy with cancer.” I suggest we all go out and fight a guy with cancer in support of Jon Lester. Its like wearing a ribbon, but better.

The tide appeared to be turning in favor of he-who-scares-children after Lowell’s blast in the bottom of the fourth, then Tavarez trotted out the mound and started “pitching” again. Two runs later, Kyle Snyder got the last out of the inning. The top of the sixth began without incident, but with two outs the hit parade ran into Snyder like a caravan of eighteen-wheelers, with a little help from Wily Mo Pena’s two error blunder. As the sixth ended, Vernon Wells 10, Red Sox 3.

If one was forced pick out a bright spot, Wily Mo looked more comfortable at the plate. He shied away from a few breaking balls he would have lunged at last week. Consecutive starts have helped him at the plate, but highlight his spectacularly bad defense. If indie-rock bible Pitchfork Media rated WMP’s D, it would likely be in the “breaks new ground for terrible” range. I subscribe to the Moneyball outfield defense philosophy; that is, if a guy can catch and throw somewhere below league average ability, he’s acceptable. Few players are bad enough to fail this test, Wily Mo has bombed it.

After the sixth I was frustrated enough to tune in to the Yankees-Devil Rays game to monitor my fantasy team’s young core of B.J. Upton and Delmon Young. The good news: Luis Vizcaino was awful and Carl Crawford tatooed a Mike Myers frisbee for a grand slam. The bad news: Chien-Ming Wang hit 94 on the radar gun.

The Yankees pitching staff hasn’t looked this bad since 1994, my preseason first-AL-manager-fired pick is looking better every day. I regret not selecting John Gibbons, but either firing would give me great pleasure. Joe Maddon was another viable option. He seems to have his players’ respect, but his bullpen use is questionable. With a three-run lead he brought in Jae-Kuk Ryu to open the 8th last night, after a quick walk to Bobby Abreu Maddon was calling on Shawn Camp. Earlier in the game he yanked Juan Salas after two hitters. Maddon doesn’t have a lot to work with in his pen, but isn’t making it easy on those guys either. If a walk to his first batter was going to get Ryu a ticket to the showers he shouldn’t have been in there at all.

Even so, if I was forced to choose between Gibbons’ poor attitude and Maddon’s over-managing, I’d take the hipster in a heartbeat. Gibbons’ act infuriates me. What was he arguing about when he came out of the dugout on Tuesday? If he had a question about the call, wouldn’t he ask the umpire that made it? Why was he talking to the third base umpire? He realized he was being an idiot and took a left. Hey John, why don’t you prove your manhood with another brawl in the clubhouse? Check that ‘tude at the door.

Tonight: Schilling at Daniel Cabrera (BAL)

Danny Cabrera has cut down the walks and is piling up the strikeouts, but has yet to turn the corner as an elite starter. He’s right on the verge and scares me against a patient lineup. If the Red Sox fail the first time through the order they’ll need to radically change their gameplan.

A.J. Burnett at Andy Pettitte

Jeter left Tuesday’s game with after being hit by a Kazmir fastball above the knee. He’s listed as day-to-day. Burnett has given up homers in three consecutive starts.  Advantage: A-Rod.