In the wake of the perplexing finale of the most critically acclaimed television series of all time, I just had to make some sort of tribute.  Since this is, essentially, a Red Sox blog, I tried to find a correlation between our favorite baseball team and our favorite fictional crime syndicate.  Surprisingly, the correlations are quite strong in some areas (and obviously a stretch in some others – bear with me, the Sox just got crushed 12-2). 

Anyway, let’s see how the characters on The Old Town Team measure up to the characters on The Sopranos.

Manny Ramirez :: Paulie Walnuts
He’s been a huge asset to the organization for years.  But, his loyalty might be in question.  In the past, he’s made some ill-advised remarks about his dream to join our archrivals.  However, one cannot dispute his dedication to his talent, whether it’s hitting a 500 foot home run, or strangling an old woman for a shoebox full of cash. 

David Ortiz :: Silvio Dante
A fun loving guy, he’s the driving force behind the entire organization, and probably produces more than any other member of the team.  Well dressed and with a great sense of humor, he’s a hit with the ladies and produces consistent numbers year in and year out.  When the organization is in need of a big hit against a RHP or an FBI-informant girlfriend, this guy is usually the one to step up. 

Kevin Youkilis :: Bobby Bacala
He was never a gifted athlete, and had drawn many remarks about his “bad body” as he rose through the ranks.  His biggest trait was always his patience.  Recently, he has become a very important member of the team, and has stepped up to take on a more productive role in the absence of others.

Mike Lowell :: Patsy Parisi
Was acquired from another organization a few years back.  When he came over, people were skeptical of his abilities, and some thought he wouldn’t be worth jack shit.    However, he’s surprised everyone with his production, and is a key role-player on this crew.

Dustin Pedroia :: “Vinny” from Doogie Howser (Benny Fazio) 
The smallest member of the team has recently come into his own.  He took a real beating last year, and many people thought he might never recover.  However, he’s come through with several big hits, including doubles down the line and heroin dealers in an SUV.

Roger Clemens :: “Big Pussy” Bonpensiero
He was great for us.  However, he committed the ultimate dishonor to this organization.  Don’t even speak his name.

Tim Wakefield :: Junior Soprano
He’s been a member of this organization longer than anyone else.  You never really know what you’re going to get with this guy.  His output is usually erratic.  Some days, it seems like he’s on the ball, but then he just falls apart.  Some people love him, but some can’t stand watching him.

Matt Clement :: Furio Giunta
We acquired this guy a few years ago, and were expecting big things from him.  At first, he was amazing, and was considered a star on the team.  But, eventually he had his problems, and became persona non grata in the organization.  Nowadays, nobody really knows what he’s doing.  Where the hell is this guy?

Kelly The Ball Girl :: Meadow Soprano
The camera should really show more of her.

J.D. Drew :: A.J. Soprano
He’s the whipping post, the guy who the fans love to dislike.  For some reason, he’s considered to have a bad work-ethic and a poor attitude, but I really haven’t seen much evidence of that this year.  Some of his actions in the past have tarnished his reputation a bit.  He seems to be improving recently, which is good to see.

Curt Schilling :: Tony Soprano
Although the entire organization is driven by a team effort, the big guy will usually get most of the press.  He never minces his words, and he has a very conservative outlook on life.  He’s obviously a key member of the organization, the de-facto leader. 

However, we are not sure what happens to him after this year.