Toronto 2
Boston 1

Yeah, the Red Sox “scattered” 11 hits, and only managed to score 1 run against a rookie pitcher who resembles a puppet from a children’s television show.  “Scattered” is the obligatory term for managing to get over 10 hits and score less than 2 runs in a single baseball game.  The term is often applied to pitchers who have horseshoes embedded in their anuses (ani?), Jesse Litsch being a prime example of this medical phenomenon today. 

When I was in grade school, we used to play a game called “Scatter” in gym class; it was basically a variation of dodgeball, but without teams and more brutal.  Anyway, this game leaves me feeling like I was just struck in the testicles with a Scatter Ball thrown by the huge 13-year-old kid with the mustache, so perhaps the term is appropriate.  I’m sure Josh Beckett feels the same way, after pitching 8 strong innings and being saddled with his 3rd loss of the season.

The Sox didn’t really have their full lineup out there today: Jason Varitek was taking a day off due to soreness, Dustin Pedroia was sick, and J.D. Drew is still a day or two away from returning to the lineup.  If you had read my mid-season report cards, you would have noticed that players missing games is trouble for this team, as our “D+” bench must relied upon in those situations. 

Tomorrow, roll out the red carpet for the Royals, as Brian Bannister (another member of the Horseshoe Club, as he has a 3.71 ERA and only 4.7 Ks per game) takes on Kason Gabbard (2-0, 4.87 ERA).  I don’t really like this pitching matchup, and I’ll note that KC isn’t really as bad as they have been in recent years (their Pythagorean record is 42-48, still bad, but not Royal Bad), so I wouldn’t be expecting them to completely roll over.

The weekly Power Rankings will also be out tomorrow.

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