Tim and Joe’s Civil Disagreement
During the ALCS Game 1 broadcast on FOX, announcers Tim McCarver and Joe Buck had a very civil, professional disagreement on which Red Sox pitcher would start in Game 4, Josh Beckett or Tim Wakefield. At least…it sounded civil. Let’s compare what the announcers said with what they were actually thinking.
Joe said: “The Sox are starting to run away with this game. Do you think they would eventually ‘pull the quarterback’ and rest Beckett up for Game 4?”
(Joe thought: “You know, I like John Cougar Mellencamp, I don’t care what anyone says. ‘This is our country‘ Yeahhhh…that never gets old.”)
Tim said: “Well, in today’s game, with today’ strategies, I don’t think Beckett would pitch on 3 days rest. I think Terry Francona would pitch Wakefield.”
(Tim thought: “This prick has no idea what he’s talking about. Newsflash, asshole: ballplayers are human. We are not X-Men characters, you spoon-fed maggot.”)
Joe said: “Hmmm…, well, if Josh pitched Game 4, he would then be able to pitch Game 7 on regular rest. So, I think it might be a good idea.”
(Joe thought: “Did…did you just contradict me on national TV? You miserable old bastard, how dare you. This isn’t the Bill Maher show, f*ckface. You just nod in agreement when I speak, and speak when spoken to. Pathetic old relic.”)
Tim said: “Well, 15 years ago, maybe that would happen. But, in today’s game, with a pitcher of Josh’s age and importance, I don’t think Francona would do that.
(Tim thought: “You aren’t half the man your daddy was. As soon as this game is over, I’m calling Rupert Murdoch and having a “No Mongoloids In the Booth” policy enforced. If you argue this point with me any more…well…I just might lose my temper. And that would be a bad thing for you, Joe. A very bad thing.”)
Joe said: “Well, Josh Beckett pitched on 3 days rest before…and won Game 6 of the 2003 World Series against the Yankees in a shutout. So, he’s done it before, and he could probably do it again.”
(Joe thought: “You slobbering, pants-shitting, senile old f*ck! Die already! Just f*cking DIE! I’ve been wanting to get Cal Ripken in here for FIVE F*CKING YEARS, but no, Tim’s heart just won’t give out after 45 years of wanton tobacco abuse. WHAT THE F*CK! Oh, and Tim? Don Slaught has pieces of you in his stool.”)
Tim said: “Well, that was back when Trader Jack McKeon managed the Marlins, and, you know, he was old school. So, I think Francona’s a bit more progressive, and will probably be conservative and pitch Wakefield instead of Beckett. But, time will tell I suppose.”
(Tim thought: “YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! YOU F*CKING SON OF A BITCH!!! I’M GOING TO STRANGLE YOU WITH THIS MICROPHONE CORD!” I’M GOING TO TEAR YOUR HEART OUT AND PLANT BEGONIAS IN YOUR CHEST CAVITY!!! I PLAYED PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL FOR THIRTY YEARS!! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I’M TIM MCCARVER! I WAS CATCHING BOB GIBSON WHILE YOU WERE BEING HAZED BY THE F*CKING CHESS CLUB!! AAAAHHHHHH!!!! YOUR ASS IS MINE!!!”)
Hats of to these two men for their amazing display of restraint, as they managed to not assault each other in the booth during this 12 minute discussion.
The thing that amazed me about McCarver last night was not that he is an idiot (I have known that for a while), but that he butchered Dustin Pedroia’s name, and called him “Justin” (I even rewound it to make sure I heard it right). I thought that he would have learned from his mistake in 2004 when he called Bronson Arroyo “Brandon Arroyo” 5 times- until Buck actually corrected him on the air and told McCarver his name was actually “Bronson”…
links for 2007-10-13…
papel-blog: the josh beckett press conference drinking game (tags: RedSox) Tim and Joe’s Civil Disagreement OR: What happens when Tim and Joe get bored during a game. (tags: baseball)……
This is classic stuff. I wish I saw it days ago. These guys are just brutal – they don’t pay attention, they have no real opinion on anything going on in the game. As you alluded to – it’s all about them and their own internal debates, not about the game or the fans. Just brutal.