Dan O’Dowd is Hallucinating

By Jimmy, 7/23/2008 2:28 pm

According to the Denver Post, the Colorado Rockies have named their price for coveted reliever Brian Fuentes.  They are asking for Clay Buchholz.

Just to recap, the Rockies are asking for one of the game’s top 10 pitching prospects in return for a half-season rental of a middle reliever.  A good middle reliever, mind you…but still.  A pitcher who will throw roughly 30 innings for the Boston Red Sox.

This entire development begs the question: what type of drug is Rockies GM Dan O’Dowd experimenting with?   My initial guess is LSD.  Individuals who are tripping on acid can often experience cognitive shifts and distorted perception, and this trade request certainly smacks of that.  However, the Rockies are known to be a somewhat right-leaning organization, and would frown upon such a blatant nod to hippie culture.

My guess?  O’Dowd is using mescaline.  You know…peyote.  Denver is pretty far out west, and the stuff literally grows on trees out there.   That’s the only explanation for this M.C. Escher painting of a trade offer.  He was listening to “Shine On You Crazy Diamond” with his noise-reducing headphones, staring at the glow-in-the-dark star stickers on his ceiling, and somewhere during David Gilmour’s second guitar solo he gets the idea to pick up the phone and call 4 Yawkey Way.

No thanks, Dan.  Sleep it off and try again tomorrow.

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