I knew the show existed, and I knew it wasn’t something I’d normally watch.  But, was “Sox Appeal” really that bad?  At long last, this agonizing question has been answered.

The Red Sox had just finished off the Texas Rangers to wrap up the season series between the two teams.  Boston had dominated the heavy hitters from the Lone Star State all season, and I had just opened up my laptop to post my thoughts.  NESN was on TV behind me, and the post-game show was just ending.  I really wasn’t paying attention.

On comes “Sox Appeal”, one of the newfangled NESN products aimed at the growing demographic of 16-25 year-old Sox fans who aren’t really into baseball (as odd as that sounds).  There’s a popular term used frequently to describe these folks nowadays: Pink Hats.  The term itself is a little flawed, since it is aimed solely at the female denizens of Red Sox Nation, when in actuality there are also a large amount of males who are into the Fenway “scene” and not the game itself.  Fenway Park is basically the world’s largest and most expensive singles bar.  But, I digress.

As soon as I overheard the first 30 seconds of this television program, I puked blood all over my computer screen and went into convulsions.  As New Englanders, do we really want to embrace the image of the uneducated, Bud Light swigging, grammatically impaired townie?  Why else would they have that insufferable “cab driver” from the Olympia Sports commercials narrating the show? Is this what the program directors at NESN really think of their viewers?  I honestly can’t dedicate any more time to writing about the show, because each second I spend contemplating it makes me want to tear out my gonads and feed them to a garter snake.

Well, I’m off to spend 36 hours in a psych ward, because I can’t stop washing my hands.  Thanks, NESN.  Hopefully, I’ll be well enough on Monday afternoon to write a preview of the ultra-important series against Tampa Bay.  Stay tuned.

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