Mental Diarrhea: Holiday Edition
As I type this, Santa Claus is applying a generous dollop of lubricant to his ample figure, in hopes that he will successfully navigate your chimney without any major discomfort. While the stockings at 4 Yawkey Way appear to be empty, let’s take comfort in the fact that the current Sox regime has a knack for utilizing under-the-radar acquisitions. It will be interesting to see what the 25 man roster looks like 4 months from now.
- You are probably thinking to yourself, “They need to do something NOW. Sign Adam Dunn NOW. Trade for Jake Peavy NOW.” Nothing should be done in desperation. Adam Dunn fits on the Red Sox roster about as well as a tyrannosaurus rex at a children’s hospital. Jake Peavy would cost the Sox a package including Lars Anderson (who suddenly became a bit more valuable to Boston). Desperation is bad. Desperation gets you Kei Igawa. Desperation gets you $800 million in free agent commitments in a 3 year span. Let the other guys act in desperation.
- The position the Sox should be looking to improve is catcher. Now that Teixeira is gone, Theo Epstein is not beholden to re-sign his Yellow Jacket teammate. While I would be happy with a Dusty Brown/George Kottaras tandem over Varitek, I think there are more attractive options to be had via trade. The Sox have a surplus in young arms in the form of Justin Masterson, Michael Bowden, and even Clay Buchholz. While I understand how painful it is for us to part with pitching prospects, I believe this is a scenario where it is warranted. If a one-for-one Buchholz for Jarrod Saltalamacchia deal was on the table (last I heard, Texas was asking for Buchholz plus), I’d do it.
- Whatever happened to the chick who played “Sloane” from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off? She was hot; you’d think she would have been in more stuff. Although, she’s probably, what, 45-years-old by now? What a depressing thought.
- I am taking it upon myself to spearhead the 2009 “Keep Jeff Bailey” campaign. This will prevent another Sean Casey/Mark Kotsay “Experienced Veteran” type of disaster, which I am convinced is a primary reason for 2008 ALCS loss. Bailey can hit, he can play first base, and he can play corner outfield. He bats right handed. He’s cheap. He’s a perfect fit for this roster. An “Experienced Veteran” is only useful if he is actually…you know…useful. I challenge you to name a more practical backup 1B solution.
- I’ve only seen commercials for the new Richard Nixon film, but I have to ask you older folks who remember him: did he really sound like Sean Connery when he spoke, or is that just an artistic liberty taken by the actor?
- We should at least take comfort in the fact that Mike Lowell appears to be progressing nicely after hip surgery. If he is healthy, the Red Sox will again have of the strongest defensive infields in baseball (something we are not used to around these parts).
- Can you guess how many MLB players there have been with the last name “Cabrera” in baseball history? Only 11. I would have pegged the number a bit higher. 7 of those 11 are currently active players, and 9 of them are 21st century players. Like Google, the baseball Cabreras are a recent phenomenon.
- I managed to catch the new James Bond installation last night. I was slightly disappointed. It’s not really a Bond movie, by my standards. 1) He only hooked up with one girl (most Bonds manage to bang at least 3 women. Roger Moore would have absolutely wrecked that Bolivian girl), and 2) there were no gadgets. No exploding pens, no heat seeking bow ties. Just a Walther PPK and a knife. If they want to continue going in this direction, just rename the franchise to “James Bourne” and get it over with.
- I haven’t touched upon the new road uniforms yet, so I’ll do so here: I give them a thumbs up. I was always partial to the simple design from the late 80′s, and this is basically it (with prettier lettering). The one thing I do not care for is the alternate “Hanging Sox” cap. The “B” should be a standard, an impenetrable symbol of power and respect throughout the sporting world. The team has earned it.
- Happy Holidays.
Sloan was played by Mia Sara. She has been busy with shows and movies you’ve never heard of.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000214/
And she don’t look too bad for a 41 year old woman.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000214/