The First Sign of Spring!
The first Red Sox player to arrive at camp is…(drum roll)…pitcher Jon Lester.
Lester, arguably the team’s top starter right now, arrived in sunny Fort Myers 8 days before P’s & C’s, and 3 days before Truck Day. Maybe it’s appropriate that he’s the first guy in Florida, since he might be throwing the first pitch of the regular season when the Sox open against Tampa Bay at Fenway Park on April 6th.
So what if Phil the Groundhog dragged his fat furry ass out of his cave and decided it would be miserable shit-eating winter for six more goddamn weeks? You know what? Screw the Groundhog. I dislike him intensely. I want to shoot him with a nail gun and turn him into an enchilada. I want to feed him to my cat. According to my iPhone, it’s 65 degrees and sunny where Jon Lester is. Do you hear that, Phil? Fort Myers does not abide by your meteorologic decree. 100,000 75-year-olds driving big white cars, and Jon Lester. They are outside your sphere of influence. How does that make you feel, Phil?
Where Jon Lester is, it is spring.
In my rapidly deteriorating mind, it is spring.
Spring is here.