Being a fan of Seattle’s rich musical history, it pains me to see their baseball team stuck Down in a Hole.   This is a team that really Fell on Black Days last season, going from 88 wins in 2007 to 101 losses in 2008.  Is new GM Jack Zduriencik a Better Man than the last GM, or will he be forced to wear a Crown of Thorns?  We shall see.

2009 Projected Rotation

1) Felix Hernandez
2) Erik Bedard
3) Jarrod Washburn
4) Brandon Morrow
5) Carlos Silva

In a Nutshell, this is a rotation with some top heavy talent but serious injury risks.  King Felix Hernandez is turning 23 in April, and will have No Excuses; he should emerge as one of the top 3 or 4 starters in the American League.  Erik Bedard has the durability of a swatch of Corduroy, but is terrific when healthy.  Washburn and Morrow are both above average pitchers for their respective slots.  Silva’s an interesting case, and his 2009 performance is a true Superunknown.  Last year he was absolutely terrible, but he still has that pinpoint control which can keep the team in games.  If one of the starters is injured, Ryan Rowland-Smith will be a suitable replacement.

Rotation Grade: B

Projected 2009 Bullpen

Chad Cordero (CL)
David Aardsma
Miguel Batista
Roy Corcoran
Tyler Walker
Cesar Jiminez
Mark Lowe

This bullpen will leave many Mariners fans sitting in the Angry Chair.  Chad Cordero, their best reliever by far, is out until mid-May.  I’m rooting for old friend David Aardsma to win the interim closer role, but he’s not exactly Firpo Marberry, and it’s all really up in the air.  Miguel Batista is just terrible, walking more guys than he struck out last year.  Corcoran and Jiminez are both promising pitchers, but they aren’t really late-inning types at this point.

Bullpen Grade: D-

2009 Offensive Projection:

1) Ichiro Suzuki RF
2) Jose Lopez 2B
3) Adrian Beltre 3B
4) Ken Griffey Jr. DH
5) Yuniesky Betancourt SS
6) Russell Branyan 1B
7) Wladimir Balentien LF
8) Kenji Johjima C
9) Franklin Gutierrez CF

Bench:

Jeff Clement – C
Endy Chavez – OF
Ronny Cedeno – INF
Mike Morse – OF
Mike Sweeney – 1B/DH

The folks at Baseball Prospectus feel that superstar Ichiro Suzuki’s best days are in the Rearviewmirror, and that he’s destined for his first season without 200 hits or a .300 batting average.  Without his production, the Seattle offense could find themselves in the midst of a Hunger Strike.  Adrian Beltre, a solidly above-average third baseman whose 48 HR days are Far Behind, is likely their best hitter now.  Branyan is an intriguing sort of player; a guy who swings as hard as he can at a handful of pitches and hits one 500 feet on occasion.   All I Know is that this lineup will have Seattle pundits writing columns laced with Judgement, Rage, Retribution, and Thyme.  It could get ugly.

Offensive Grade: D

Fielding Projection:

If it Smells Like Teen Spirit in here, it’s because Seattle’s fielders are as nimble as 15-year-old female Olympic gymnasts.  Their outfield defense might be the best in the AL, and their infielders aren’t slouches, either.  A bright spot for a team with little to be optimistic about.

Fielding Grade: A

Playing in Safeco Field will be a double-edged sword for the Mariners this season.  They will prevent plenty of runs with their talented rotation and flashy gloves, but that offense will get about as much action as An Elderly Woman Behind The Counter in a Small Town.  If this team performs anything like they did last season (they’ll probably improve a bit, but they might not), manager Don Wakamatsu could quickly become the proverbial Man in the Box.

Overall Grade: 48 (C-)

Okay, sorry about all the grunge puns.  I’m sure they became tiresome after the second paragraph or so.  Never again, I promise.  Next up: Mannywood!

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