Thank Jeebus for the 2009 Baltimore Orioles.

The Orioles that have lost 12 out of 14 games to the Red Sox, with four games yet to be played in this all-important September stretch.  The Orioles that have scored only 54 runs against Boston pitching (3.86 per game) while allowing 100 (7.14 per game).

Thank you, Matt Wieters.  As we speak, MLB officials in Manhattan are sheepishly chiseling away on the American League Rookie of the Year trophy, removing the name they had proactively engraved in March.

Thank you, Nick Markakis.  No longer baseball’s best kept secret, however, after all the smoke and bluster begins to dissipate on the 2009 season, the hard data will tell us that you were outplayed by J.D. Drew.

Thank you, Jeremy Guthrie.  A flyball pitcher who doesn’t strike guys out will eventually feel the wrathful vengeance of the BABIP gods.  Consider yourself fortunate that it took them two long years to awaken from their slumber.

If you removed both team’s games against Baltimore, the Red Sox and the Rays would have the exact same record.  Let us turn towards Fenway South and give thanks.  The good teams take care of the cupcakes.  At the very least, the 2009 Boston Red Sox fit that criteria.

Comments are closed