Wow.  I can’t say I’m surprised, but wow.  People complained when President Obama won the Nobel prize last year, and I think this one takes it to a entirely new level of ridiculousness.  I’ll just paste an excerpt from the AP article here, so you can see for yourselves:

STOCKHOLM – No MVP?  No Problem.  New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter has a new piece of hardware to add to his trophy mantle: the Nobel Prize.  The Royal Swedish Academy of Sciences decided to bestow their recently-created award for the field of “Character” to the 10-time All Star, selecting him among a field of less-qualified nominees.

“When we created the Nobel Prize for Character, we knew Mr. Jeter would be given strong consideration” explained Swedish Academy professor Olaf Fleugenpleurg.  “Derek was a landslide winner over other inferior candidates, such as Martin Luther King, Winston Churchill, and Nelson Mandella”.  When asked how an athlete with relatively few philanthropic endeavors would win such a prestigious award over these historical icons, Fleugenpleurg explained the Academy’s logic behind the choice.  “You see, Jeter comes into work every day and does his job the right way.  People on every team respect him for that”.  Fleugenpleurg took a bite from his danish and elaborated, “MLK was shot to death, so there was at least one person who didn’t respect him.  Nelson Mandella was imprisoned for years; but did he hear the ghosts in Monument Park speaking to him?  Churchill needed the help of the Unites States to win a war; Derek Jeter wins all by himself.”

It seems that even the most indirect, unorthodox acts of humanity can earn you a Nobel Prize.  Fleugenpleurg explained, “Jeter has spread awareness by infecting so many young women and men with the herpes virus.  He obviously does this for the greater good.  He is saying to the world ‘This is what you should not do’.  This act of selflessness and courage is incredible.”

When questioned as to whether there will be other athletes in the future who win the Nobel Prize in the field of Character, since Jeter’s qualities seem to be shared with roughly 75% of highly-paid sports icons over age 30, Fleugenpleurg laughed, wiped lingonberry jam off of his Santa-like beard, and spoke. “What we have here is not an athlete.  He is a saint, who happens to play baseball.  While his UZR is low, his heart is enormous.”

There you have it.  I can’t say I really agree with the logic of the choice, but then again, the guy seems to win Gold Gloves, so…

Coming up next, the Red Sox team preview.  Maybe the Lowell situation will be resolved by the time I hit the “publish” button, but I doubt it.

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