We've brought in a consultant to help us with the 2010 predictions.

Watching the least-likable college basketball program in the country win a national championship was rather tortuous, so if my 2010 MLB predictions turn out to be laughably wrong (like, for instance, last season), I’ll blame my lapse in judgment on post-traumatic stress disorder brought on by staring at Mike Krzyzewski’s smarmy face for too long.

Coach K is apparently going to turn down a $12-15 million per year salary offer from the NJ Nets, so he can stay at Duke and continue to breed his genetically engineered army of pseudo-Mormons.  Look, Durham is a nice place and New Jersey is an open sewer, but we’re talking about an 8 figure salary.  He could live in Ocean City and fly a helicopter to work every day,  if he wanted to.  Why can’t this guy just succumb to the natural greed inherent in all Americans?  It’s OK to display human flaws.  Take the money, you lipless ferret.

On to America’s pastime.

Projected 2010 Finishes:

AL Wildcard: Boston Red Sox

I know, I know.  Yankees winning the AL East and Red Sox winning the wild card, I’m not really breaking away from the herd on this one.  I’d have to guess that most people are banking on the same thing.  Do you know why that is?  It’s because the prediction makes sense.  On paper, these are clearly the two best teams in the American League.  They are too far ahead of any team in the Central or the West.  The only thing other teams can hope for is a cannibalization effect (Sox, Yanks, and Rays beating up on each other to the point that their win-loss records slip behind other wildcard contenders).

Look for the Royals to make gains, and the Tigers to disappoint.

NL Wildcard winner: Cincinnati Reds

My reach pick in the NL is the Reds, who I believe have enough starting pitching and offense to make noise in 2010.  Breakout performances from guys like Jay Bruce, Joey Votto, Johnny Cueto, and Homer Bailey could make baseball’s oldest franchise the story of the summer.

ALCS: Rangers over Yankees (5 games)
NLCS: Dodgers over Cardinals (7 games)

World Series: I predict that the Texas Rangers will win the first World Series championship in the history of their franchise, beating the Dodgers in a hotly contested 7 game series.

AL Cy Young Award: Felix Hernandez (SEA – SP)
AL MVP: Alex Rodriguez (NYY – 3B)
AL Rookie of the Year: Neftali Feliz (TEX – SP)

NL Cy Young Award: Tim Lincecum (SF – SP)
NL MVP: Albert Pujols (STL – 1B)
NL Rookie of the Year: Jason Heyward (ATL – OF)

My NL award predictions seem bland, but Occam’s Razor applies here.  Lincecum and Pujols are too far ahead of anyone else.  I feel a little slimy after picking Heyward, since the hype machine is in full force after his debut yesterday (an actual Peter Gammons tweet from this morning: “Every day Jason Heyward looks in the mirror and asks, ‘am I the person I want to be?’ great talent, greater family”…OY VEY, GAMMO), but there aren’t many other candidates for RoY in the NL.  I suppose Pittsburgh’s Pedro Alvarez could give him a run for his money.

Other predictions:

• Comeback players of the year:  Carlos Quentin (CHI, OF), Anibal Sanchez (FLA, SP)
• Managers of the year: Ron Washington (TEX), Dusty Baker (CIN)
• First managers fired: Bob Geren (OAK), Bud Black (SD)

5 Responses to “Dewey’s House Predicts the 2010 MLB Season”

1. Mike says:

   4/6/2010 at 5:04 pm

   You know I stopped at “New Jersey is an open sewer,” right? Jerk. :)
2. Jimmy says:

   4/6/2010 at 5:09 pm

   You know I’m not referring to the swanky suburbs. It’s more of a reference to scenes like your boy on MTV there, and “Lean on Me” etc.
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6. JD says:

   4/20/2010 at 2:57 pm

   Ken and John Dewey of Dewey Homes in Wayne, PA suck and please don’t buy a home from them