Ortiz Wins HR Derby, Wants Contract Extension

By Jimmy, 7/13/2010 10:09 am

Timing is everything, as they say.

What better time to ask for a contract extension after putting on a mammoth exhibition of power in front of millions of viewers, after hitting .317/.467/.671 in your last 25 games?  The problem is that the Red Sox have a one-year team option on him for the 2011 season, and it is really not in their best interests to discuss a long-term deal with an overweight 35-year-old DH.

Perhaps if Bud Selig agrees to ban left-handed pitchers from the game of baseball?  You know, since Ortiz is hitting .192/.277/.301 against them.  Just ask a nun at any Catholic school: left-handed people are the spawn of Satan.  The Italian word for left is “sinistro”, not coincidentally sounding a bit like “sinister”.

One Response to “Ortiz Wins HR Derby, Wants Contract Extension”

  1. COD says:

    If we could just get AL pitchers to throw nothing but 70 mph fastballs when Ortiz is hitting…

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