Supreme Leader Kim Jong-il sits in his imperial throne room, discussing a foreign relations matter with his two most trusted defense analysts.

Kim Jong-il:  It is July Fourth, gentlemen!  The capitalist American pigs celebrate their independence with fireworks.  But little do they know, I have a bottle rocket of my own, hmmm?  Our nuclear facility is fully operational!  The missile calibration is complete!  What say you, analysts?  I am undecided.  Should we transform Hawaii into a pile of uninhabitable radioactive lava rock?

Analyst #1: Sir, I don’t think it would be wise.  First off, it is inhumane and unethical.  Secondly, the Americans would likely retaliate in-kind.

Analyst #2: Sir, we should definitely press the button and take Hawaii off the map, immediately.  Americans are irrational, illogical, and lack the power of free thought.

KJ: Irrational?! Illogical?!  What do you mean?  Explain how you have come to this conclusion, analyst!

A2: Well, you see the Americans play this game called “baseball”…

KJ: Ah, yes, baseball.  Our capitalist cousins to the south play that game quite well.  Go on…

A2: Well, they have an annual “all star game” where the American populace votes on the best player at each position.

KJ: Yessssss?

A2: Just look! Look at the voting results for AL shortstops.  They are selecting Derek Jeter as the best American League shortstop!

KJ: What’s wrong with that?  Derek Jeter knows how to win!  Everyone knows that.

A1: He does know how to win, sir.

A2: Well, let’s look at another shortstop; Tampa Bay’s Jason Bartlett.  He’s hitting .362/.401/.560!  He has a UZR/150 of 8.6.  He was been, without question, the best shortstop in the league this year!  Jeter not only got more votes, he won by a landslide!  No rational person would vote for Jeter over Bartlett!

A1: But, Bartlett doesn’t have rings.  He doesn’t will his team to victory! Does he play the game the right way?

KJ: Does he know how to win?

A2: YES, FOR CHRIST SAKE!! HE’S HITTING .362!!!

KJ: Better offensively!?  Better defensively!? Analysts, say no more!  I have made my decision!  This indefensible All-Star selection just proves that Americans are sheep that will blindly swallow whatever the media sells them.  Derek Jeter’s selection as an All-Star starter has no basis.  This type of flawed logic plagues Mother Earth, and cannot be allowed to fester.  You may fire when ready!

You really should have voted for Jason Bartlett.

Former Red Sox infielder Alex Cora describes Fuentes as “Jacoby’s clone”.  Since those are Cora’s words, and Cora is basically the Yoda of baseball, there is now a 100% chance of that comparison being accurate.

Check out our draft day report on Fuentes here.

Lugo is now hitting .301/.365/.388.  Say what you want about him, but the guy gets on base, just as he did last year.  And, for all of the talk about him improving his offensive game over the offseason, we may have some more evidence of that actually happening: Lugo’s line drive percentage is at a career high of 24.4%, while his ground ball percentage is at a career low of 37.2%.  Some of this trend can probably be chalked up to the standard errors one would expect to find in a small sample of data.  But, he definitely looks better at the plate than he did in his first two seasons here.

Defensively, he’s still shaky.  But, when faced with the question of which player the team should jettison to make room for Jed Lowrie, I’m not sure Julio Lugo is the clear cut answer.

Do you think Nick Green will outperform Lugo in the second half of 2009?  Before you answer, look long and hard at their respective track records.

John Smoltz looked sharp, as he did in the final innings of his first appearance.  The outcome of the game would probably be a little different if he would have pitched 6 innings.  Alas, the rain gods bent us over and defiled us, just as they have been doing for the past month.  The bullpen was apparently not prepared to finish this one off, as the quintet of Masterson, Delcarmen, Okajima, Saito, and Papelbon blew a 10 run lead in 2 innings of “work”.

On the bright side, it probably won’t get any worse than this.

No, I don’t mean sick as in “phat”, “off the hook”, “impressive”, or “surprisingly effective”.  I mean sick as in “ill”.  But not “ill” in the Beastie Boys sense.  I mean ill as in “having the flu”, “ailing”, “not well”, “spasmodically vomiting”, or “in need of immediate medical attention”.

Anyway, Hanson was throwing a tad slower than he has in his other starts, maxing out at 94 when he typically maxes out at 96-97.  And, he wasn’t missing many bats (2 Ks in 6 innings).  However, he must have made some sort of adjustment, because the young pitcher was nearly unhittable.  I wonder what he was doing differently yesterday?  Well, according to the pitch FX data, nearly half of his pitches were breaking balls.

Look, all I’m saying is: if I was a pitcher, and I was suffering from some sort of illness, I’d probably use it to my advantage by lathering the baseball with infectious puss.  I’d spackle so much puce-tinted snot on the ball, it would look like a squeeky-toy belonging to the dog from Turner & Hooch.  If Hanson did this (and I’m not saying he did), I tip my hat to this enterprising young lad.

Anyway, the 2009 iteration of interleague play comes to a merciful end, and the Sox walk away with a 11-7 record.  Fine with me.

Authorities are awaiting autopsy results before officially announcing the cause of death, but initial reports indicate that Boston’s sweep hopes died of old age…John Smoltz’s old age, that is.  Smoltz began to display symptoms in the first inning, after giving up 4 runs to the worst team in baseball.  Boston’s sweep chances were given last rights in the third inning, after the Nationals increased their lead to 5-0 and it was apparent that the Red Sox offense was in a vegetative state.

Boston’s sweep aspirations were two days old at the time of death.  They leave behind 90 unplayed regular season baseball games.

A candlelight vigil will be held at Turner Field in Atlanta, GA at 7:30 PM tonight.

Daisuke has looked bad this season.  This has led people to scream crazy things like “trade him” or “option him” which simply would not work with the contract he has.  Even worse some people have said cut him and that he is a completely bust already.  This is a man a season removed 18-3 season with 2.90 ERA getting fourth in the Cy Young voting.  Even with this terrible season Daisuke has a career 114 ERA+ and a record of 34-20 in less than three years in the AL East which is right around what Beckett did in his first two years and third here in Boston.  This is also a guy making 8 million a year (he is not getting paid the posting fee, and it really shouldn’t be looked at as a payroll expense, I will get into that later).  The guy is an absolute icon in Japan and his signing has already influenced other signings including 23 year old prospect Junichi Tazawa whose 2.92 ERA leaves him in the top ten of Eastern League starters.

So can a couple of bad starts make someone with those numbers called a bust this early in his career.  Well  Daisuke is a victim of his own hype.

Daisuke Matsuzaka is victim of several things.  First he was suppose to have a legendary pitch that would make people break out into anime induced seisures called a gyroball.   It was suppose to more unhittable than Rosie O’Donnell on a Sizzler Binge.  The “gyroball” is nothing more than when Daisuke fails to put sufficient spin on his cut fastball or sinking slider.  It is more of a shuuto than a gyroball which is a nibbling pitch which when thrown properly keeps hitters from making proper contact as it moves sort of like a reverse slider.  Effective but it requires pitching on the outside of the strike zone.

That leads in Daisuke’s biggest problem.  Even when he is rolling he is one of the most frustrating pitchers to watch.  Daisuke simply refuses to allow decent contact on the ball and much rather walk a hitter than throw a ball into the heart of the strike zone.  In turn this leads to slow games with many walks and seemingly high pitch count.  This then started the thinking that Daisuke is only a 5 IP pitcher when really he averaged closer to six last year (if you eliminate the game he got injured in 2009 and the game when he came back too soon he actually averaged more than 6 IP a start).

Finally is the issue of the 51 million dollar posting fee.  People continue to place this amount as part of his pay making him almost 17 million a year pitcher.  The fact is the posting fee is more of an investment than salary.  First of all the team doesn’t pay luxury tax on it.  Secondly the team used the posting fee to help leap the Red Sox from obscurity to the most followed MLB team in Japan.  It was a market the Red Sox were looking to get into.  The posting fee is closer to buying the Salem Single A franchise than actual payroll.  People can argue that the Red Sox don’t see the 51 million back from getting Daisuke but I have hard time believing that.  This team is simply the best at generating revenue by any means possible and I doubt they haven’t been able to exploit their new found fame in Japan.

The truth of the matter is that without hype, Daisuke is the 28 year old No. 3 pitcher who has above No. 3 numbers and a reasonable salary.  8 million is cheap for pitcher with 114 ERA+.  The team has .609 winning percentage on days Daisuke Matsuzaka starts.  Right now Daisuke is not right, however it is hard to believe he is completely done.  More likely he never properly recovered from the WBC which is frustrating.  Current frustration aside calling Daisuke a bust right now is foolish.  Almost as foolish as giving Lugo 36/4 deal…

Now that we revisit the deal, it could not have turned out better for Boston or worse for the Kansas City Royals.

Crisp’s 2009 season will end as he undergoes surgery for a torn labrum.  His final line will be .228/.336/.378 in 215 plate appearances.  He was playing hurt, so we can’t really pin his sub-par numbers on a career decline.  Since Crisp’s contract has a club option for $8 million in 2010, he has likely played his final game in a Royals uniform, and there probably will not be any draft-day compensation for his departure.

Ramon Ramirez, on the other hand, has been nothing short of outstanding.  He’s been one of the best set-up relievers in the American League.  And the best part of the deal?  He’s under Red Sox control for the next few years (with arbitration).   He is a key component of a championship-caliber bullpen.

Meanwhile, Coco Crisp’s replacement is hitting .311/.361/.407 with 30 SBs in 36 attempts, and is currently 6th in AL All-Star voting for outfielders.

Put this one in Theo Epstein’s win column.

To prove that my perception of Lannan isn’t off-base, here’s some quantitative data to support it: his ERA minus FIP  (a rough measure of luck on the pitcher’s mound) is the second lowest among NL starters according to fangraphs.com.

Anyway, the Red Sox managed to punish Washington’s bullpen (as many other teams have done this season).

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You probably haven’t heard of Craig Stamnen.  He’s a 25-year-old who was pitching single-A ball last season, and features an 89 MPH fastball.  Jordan Zimmerman is probably Washington’s best pitcher right now (an honor akin to “Uzbekistan’s best sumo wrestler” or something).

I will be extremely furious if the Red Sox fail to win either of these two games by a margin of less than 5 runs.

The Pesky Pole walk-off HR from yesterday afternoon really represents the 2009 Nick Green Odyssey quite well.  It wasn’t really hit tremendously well, but it was hit in the right place at the right time, and it helped the Red Sox win.  Expect Nick Green to inheret Alex Cora’s role when Jed Lowrie returns to full strength.

Some other notes from the game:

• Thanks, Blue: the non-strike call on J.D. Drew (right before he hit the go-ahead RBI) was probably the worst non-strike call I’ve seen this season.  Bobby Cox and Chipper Jones were rightfully incensed.  If Jim Leyland was managing, he probably would have had a heart attack right there on the field.
• Tim Wakefield was mediocre, and considering Josh Beckett’s masterful performance on Saturday, the All-Star hopes continue to dwindle for the knuckleballer.
• Daisuke to the DL (catcher Dusty Brown gets called up).  Matsuzaka is suffering from a case of Johnwasdinitis, but the official diagnosis is “weak shoulder”.  Whatever.  The folks who hate the World Baseball Classic are being handed some juicy fodder on a silver platter here.